About a week ago, I updated my FB status with the topic that I planned to blog about that night... It was actually 8 days ago, according to the time stamp. I put it there as a social contract... ya know, a public statement that, once made, makes me feel obligated to do what I said I would. Some people use a similar strategy with fitness and weight related behaviors. Announcing your goals can help keep you on track. For a number of reasons.
The topic I predicted was "building your reputation with your kids." And it's all related. As a parent, as a person, people begin to expect a pattern of behavior. If you are the kind of parent who works all of the time, your parents expect you to miss things and be home late. If you are the kind of parent who says you'll make the big game and you miss one after another, your family will expect you to miss events. Notice, I am talking about WHAT YOU DO, not what you say. If you say one thing, and do another, your family expects your word to mean nothing. Now... this can be a great way to keep expectations low, so they are all the more happy when you follow through... its also a great way to make sure your family doesn't trust you. Not so good a tradeoff.
One thing I see a lot: A parent who makes plans and then doesn't follow through. "I'll pick you up this weekend." Nothing. "I'll take you shopping." Nothing. "I'll give you this or that if you make a good choice." Nothing.
Think about this. If you went to work and did your job, and on pay day you went to collect your check and found nothing... what do you think you would do? How many paydays of nothing do you think you would keep working through? How long would it take before you became resentful, spiteful? How about out and out right defiant? Would it help if your boss said: “Next time.” Or “I just don’t have it.” Or “Suck it up, sometimes life isn’t fair.”
What have your kids come to expect from you? What do you want them to expect?
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