Is that you, Body?

I forgot to blog yesterday for Mental Health blog day.... well, technically, I remembered. But when I got home yesterday, apparently, I passed out. There were several attempts made to rouse me, to change clothes, to take off my glasses... I awoke this morning a bit groggy and fully dressed. Thank goodness someone else took pity on me and let my dogs out.

My body had had enough, it would seem. Despite my mind's best intentions, my body was done. Every now and then we are reminded that we have to take care of ourselves. We have to make sure that we are eating well, getting enough sleep, being emotionally healthy. Well, I guess we don't "have" to. We are free to make our choices about our health. But we are not free from the consequences of those choices.

So, for (the day after) Mental Health blog day, think about he behaviors you are doing that are sabotaging you performing at your best. Now... what're you going to do about it?

Word Nerd, Anyone?

At one time I imagined myself a writer. I was one of those kids that always had a notebook or something, waiting for inspiration to hit me... I guess, I'm still that kid. But now, most of my pages are full of To Do lists and reminders for meetings and don't forget to calls...

In my mind, graduate school squashed out the rest of the creativity that excessive responsibility didn't kill. It's frowned upon in some peer- reviewed journals, it seems... I still like to write. And read. And correct other people's writing... and talk about books... You could say, I'm a word nerd. [heh]

Why am I babbling about this? Partly, because it's the middle of the night and those are the best times for babbling... partly because, words being my thing and all, writing this is bringing me down from the work I've been consumed with for the past two hours.... but mostly because you gotta know what you love. Not just who you love. But what gives you those "YES!" feelings. What helps you look forward? For many moms (sorry to sound exclusive, I'm just going on anecdote, here) I have worked with, they have lost sight of who they WERE before they became a mom. And as the kids get older, they have little insight into who they ARE as people, now. It makes it hard to let your little birds leave that nest if you are sitting around staring at the empty straw, wondering what makes you feel worthwhile...

... So... off you go! Find it. Do it. LOVE IT! (and yourself).

Apparently, being unhealthy takes less time!

It's not a secret that I work at becoming healthier sometimes. Profound, huh? I think MOST of us work at becoming healthier, sometimes!

Well, I was sitting here. Just now, wondering why there are times when it doesn't seem like such a struggle to eat right, exercise, take care of myself. I thought, "My life just isn't set up for this stuff right now." Aha!!! There it is. The dismissive thought. If my lifestyle isn't set up well, then that means I don't have to worry about it, right? I'm free to eat that whole pizza and take the elevator up one flight, right?

WRONG!

I encounter this often with families, too. I recommend that they have "Special time" with their kids, or coach them through frustrating problem solving, or take some time for themselves. And they tell me, "I just can't right now."

I get: "I just can't find the time."

You know why? Because the time isn't there. It's not just sitting on the sidelines waving its hands for you to snatch it up. You have to MAKE the time.

So, for today: What are the values/ goals in your life that you aren't acting AGAINST because the time isn't readily available? Now, how are you going to make one small change and stick to it for the whole week?

Consider:
Dinner with the family at least twice.
Walk around the block
Take the stairs
Have lunch with an old friend
Call your spouse on the phone in the middle of the day
Special time for 5 minutes with each child
Pack your gym bag and leave it in the car
Take your lunch (money saver!)
Call your parents and say I love you
Send a thank you note
Garden

And Remember: Special time is for grown- ups, too.

Wow. It's been a while since my last post. I must have been pretty busy over the last six weeks...

The reason that I named this blog "Patchwork PhD" is because my career is patched together from a bunch of different things that I really like doing. I’m an instructor at one place, a supervisor and administrator at another place, a clinician in private practice, and a consulting psychologist for Family court. Add in all of that, plus the community work, the professional service, and the mommy-hood and sometimes I don’t have time to think, let alone blog!

One reason I wear so many hats is because I like to take opportunities as they come to me. I like to be busy, and I love to feel helpful… And here’s the problem.

If you say yes all the time, it starts to get harder to do good work in all the things you commit to. Then things start to slide: Sleep, exercise, and healthy eating are usually the first to go with me… With many of the families that I work with, I see similar things. And all that stress starts to take its toll on getting along and being together.

So, today’s challenge is to all those working parents… that’s right, dad’s, too. (For the record, I don’t think dad’s can babysit their own kids despite what the Census Bureau says. That is a topic for a different blog. Click here for one dad’s view of the ridiculous of the whole thing. I digress.)

What has started to slide in your life? Is it time to reprioritize something? You can’t wait for time to create itself for special time with the kids, or fitness, or date night with the spouse. You have to MAKE time. Schedule something for this week that you have been putting off. I dare you.